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Jyllinge 2

I see you were expecting to read more about Randy Mandy in those shocking see-through panties which are usually slightly pushed to one side so that she gives you a friendly pink wink as your eyes meet on the stairs. Well Mandy can't talk to you at the moment as she is being punished because she has been very naughty. And yes, it is your no nonsense Soviet ex-Secret Service action girl Useka here so you can all put your swollen dicks away and zip up that fly. You know what happened in Siberia to rude men who exposed themselves to nice transgendered soviet girls, their penis froze stiff and we snapped it off just like this! So sit upright and make it stand to attention as I'm only going to tell you this once. It is the story of how after an eventful life as a hit-man and call-girl I become a loving Jyllinge Girl. But honestly they might be beautiful, they might be pure magic sex on legs, they might fuck and suck like a perfect wet dream but like all non Soviet non transgendered girls they are such sissies and can they fire a little Kalashnikov? No!

. Ha Ha! That leads me on nicely to explain a little more about myself as I'm not quite the sweet femme-fatale Useka that I might seem. When I was growing up in Odessa life was terribly hard for a seven-stone-weakling and girls used to pull my hair and the blond sailor boys on the beach used to shove Black Sea Sand down my pants. Of course I had heard about our wonderful people's bodybuilding institute and enrolled for a six year Vladimir Atlas course to make me an Olympic champion athlete. After a few weeks they told me they wanted to do a little experiment which would not only give me a great body I would be able to earn a lot of money. I was naive then and also knew better than to ask too many questions as people disappear altogether but the money sounded like a good idea as all we had to eat was raw potato and occasionally as a special treat a bit of horsemeat should one drop dead in the street. But it didn't go well from the start for during the operation as they were about to give me a huge injection of steroids in one of my nipples I fainted for the rusty looking needle was at least a foot long. When I woke up six weeks later the doctors and nurses were all still laughing at me because it was just their little joke. All it took was a tiny antiseptic prick but I was not in the least amused for instead of the handsome sporty hulk with rippling muscles I had first imagined I was exactly the same except that I now had a pair of tits. Okay they were the beautiful round tits any Western Girl would be proud of but where was my fanny. I protested saying okay you read my mind and granted me my secret wish as I had always envied my older sister Olga who always wore such nice undies and went behind the bicycle sheds with the boys at school and then could never eat her tea because they rewarded her with soggy sweets and dried lumps of sausage. Yes that's why she got so fat and I knew that wasn't going to happen to me because I was going to be different. But in the meantime I started to sob and shouted "what about the penis" Doctor Zwartsco put his arm around me and said "It's all right little girl we just ran out of money right in the middle of the operation. But we've put your name on the waiting list and we'll finish it off in a few years if you're lucky" I thought, oh my god and simply broke down in floods of tears. "Now now" Said the doctor. But something strange was happening to me and as the tears subsided my face become red with embarrassment. Slowly I felt the good doctor's hand creep under the rim of my clinical-gown and then slowly slide up my leg. I must admit unlike the other boys at school I never had that much lead in my pencil but the moment I felt the doctors fingers caress my balls my penis literally shot up. He smiled "You see it's not all bad Ivan, we noticed the breast treatment had interesting side-effects and we thought it would be such a pity to cut it off. Indeed the nurse and myself have been playing with it for weeks making it work even better for you.." He then said Nurse Titskov wanted me to have a few things from her wardrobe. She opened a suitcase and there were lace bras stocking, tights, holdups, negligée, silk panties, and long dresses with a slit down the side. I felt so excited as the two of them quickly dressed me I'm sure I was about to come. As I looked at myself in the mirror things began to look much clearer for now a beautiful blond wig on my shaved head was being patted and combed in to shape and the cleavage of my new breasts looked so fantastic in the little black Wonderbra that had been smuggled in from The West. I had been thrilled too at the first naughty sensation caused by the tight string at the back of my tiny panties digging into my bum, but now not only were they way down at my ankles Doctor Zwartsco moaning gently had my penis in his mouth his hands were pulling my bottom cheeks apart whilst Nurse Titskov licked my bum. As they say, the rest is history and it was rewritten that day.

One thing was certain, life would never be the same again. So that's how my life as a transgendered prostitute and special agent started. The trouble was I was over qualified for they had given me a permanent erection. I couldn't face going home though. In the old Russia people changed, but what would I tell my family about their little skinny Ivan becoming Useka with the big boobs? But kind Nurse Titskov let me share her bed by night inserting giant black dildoes up my bum whilst by day Doctor Zwartsco got me a job as an escort for those lucky party officials who had exceeded their quotas and deserved something special and so they happily fucked me by day. Then as the months went by not only did my blond hair grew long and beautiful, swimming and going to the gym so improved my body I was selected to serve the state acting as an easy lay for important foreign diplomats and politicians. They loved what they could do to me and what I could do for them. Ha, Ha! My employers certainly got what we wanted too because as they entered me from behind it was all being filmed by S.K.O.D.A or Special Soviet Sexual Surveillance Operations Initiative for short. Of course I knew blackmail and deceit was wrong but my masters slowly brainwashed me telling me about all the terrible things they did in the West like having to eat Burgers making innocent people die like Elvis. Also things were looking up not only did I own a mink bikini, I had my own flat, and not just a refrigerator, it was full of food. I even had my own car, but even though it was now proper boiled potato and horsemeat bought from the butcher, I did not want to have to queue like the rest of the masses and eat humble-pie. When I was being entertained by my clients I enjoyed a champagne lifestyle and was given expensive gifts, but I started to resent it because all these wonderful trinkets were confiscated afterwards and handed on to party officials to give to their discontented nagging wives. I knew it was wrong but one day I decided to hide a ruby up my arse but of course they found it. It looked like a one way ticket to Siberia, but because of my experience and special qualifications I was given the opportunity to enlist for active duty in our Secret Service instead. I thought that sounded exciting, and indeed it was. They never told me that now as well as screwing I would have to kill my lovers too. At first it was very difficult as I am such a nice person who wouldn't hurt a fly, but the grim reality was it was either me or them. Also not only was I promised medals and given huge privileges like being able to buy English Marmalade and Crumpets at the Select Party Shop I had become the number one assassin. My new assignment was to eliminate the British Double-Zero Secret Agents like Bond. Oh yes, Chris told me someone in a Google Search wanted to know what James Bond's double-zeros stand for. For me it was two neat bullet holes, one in the heart and one in the head. This might surprise you but unlike in the movies those double-zero agents were so trusting and stupid and they all travelled tourist-class. When they saw the size of my dick they rolled over on to their pale limey tummies and said "You first Sweetheart." So once I had entered them and pinned them down as they started to come I just put a pillow over their head and 'BANG!' it was all over...Goodnight Vienna, or rather "Good-bye Mr. Bond". Happy days. At least they died in ecstasy. But I mustn't dwell on the good times because it all went downhill fr me. I got so used to killing, when I met the man of my dreams and we went to bed I automatically just smothered him like the rest. It so saddened me, I realised I had become not just a a monster but a terrible killing machine. So I drank a bottle of vodka or two, went out into the wet dark night and rang Doctor Zwartsco's doorbell. Then I went inside for a coffee, chopped off his penis and made him eat it. Afterwards I went see Nurse Titskov and I should have killed her too but instead she kissed me and then when I had gone she telephoned the police. Suddenly I became a non-person, all my important friends now had never heard of me and would not help. So I was sent to Siberia like a common criminal or enemy of the state. But the good life hadn't made me forget my roots that had taught me to be tough and I knew I would survive. One night when it was so cold even the guard-dogs refused to come out I cut my way through the perimeter fence. Of course they switched on the search lights and the sirens and bullets came from everywhere. One of them caught me in the leg but I managed to crawl away to safety where the numbing cold took away much of the pain as I dug the lead out with a Swiss Army Penknife. That knife saved my life and I decided I would escape to a nice quiet country like Switzerland where only cowbells frighten you. I made my way down through Poland and into East Germany. I don't know what all the fuss was about but when football was on and nobody was looking I somersaulted over the Berlin Wall. By this time it was Summer and Loveparade was in full swing and now naked in the sunshine the partygoers just couldn't get enough of this beautiful Russian Babe with a permanent erection. Mandy always ready for a bit of public nudity herself was there too with the other Jyllinge Girls. Of course we got talking about me and my penis, and I went on to tell them I was in deep trouble. I also confessed that I felt such guilt and had no right to be at the Loverparade as I killed men for a living. I didn't do women as that was a different Trade Union. So they told me about their magical world beside Lake Geneva where there are no men and they just go naked and play volleyball and THINGS. To a hard working Russian coming from a country where there is only harship it sounded strange, a bit like a cross between and old peoples home and a girl's finishing school. But I was tired, tired of killing, tired of running, tired of being beautiful and unloved. Tired of being misunderstood. Believe me I was tired and knackered. So when the girls offered me that magical jelly-baby that would transport me I should have refused it. All my experience told me it was trick and drugged I would soon be air-freighted back to Moscow in a packing case and either sent back to Siberia or cut up for medical science. But those fantastic girls were so laid back and happy I loved just being with them. The jelly-baby worked it's magic spell and I was awakened by the cuckoo-clock above my new little wooden bed at Jyllinge. The early morning sun was clearing the early morning mist and fresh snow glistened on the mountains. On the terrace in front of the lake a wafer thin skin of ice covered the blue waters of the outdoor pool beckoning me. I would show the girls how easy it was to keep fit. But wait there's no time for a dip, one of the girls shouted "It's an emergency, the Spodes are coming." I casually slipped on my dressing-gown and yawning muttered to myself "WHO THE FUCK ARE THE SPODES?"

That Fateful Day the Spodes carried our girls away, but will Useka be able to save them? Well she did and it was so exciting and bloody and Useka used her big dick like a symbolic sword felling her enemies and driving them to submission. It was really steamy too like your favourite porn movie but you don't want to read about that. Maybe another time...Yawn. It's time for a cup of tea and then some nude volleyball with the girls.

Now for some real Erotica eh?

P.S. I have nothing against Russia it's a mixture of good and bad like everywhere else. This is just my little spoof on the Cold War spy and secret agent genre.

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He's promised Jojo only real girls are allowed in Jyllinge so please don't tell Chris I'm a girl with a dick!